The last hit of 2007

As I sit here and begin writing this very last piece before 2008, it must be acknowledged that I refer this post to certain sapiens and certain sapiens only. 2007 came and passed by very swiftly; with some days having me grasping for pure air while some days had my pirouetting with the dancing lilies under the shimmering sun. What to do? Life is definitely not a bed of red roses. Perhaps more of whites. So, here we go.

To S, if you are happen to be reading this, know that holding to the past makes the pain lasts longer and your life more miserable. We certainly cannot undo what has happened and should prevent past mistakes from repeating themselves. I am almost sure that you would have done things differently if you had a second chance but it is most likely that you won't. So please let go and move on. It is of no use to cling to someone who no longer treats you the same way as before. Perhaps you should reflect on the changes on yourself rather than focusing on how things have changed for the other party. It is only by letting things go that you learn to have a different perspective about life. Trust me, it may seem impossible at first glance but the pain will all end even before you realize it. Just give yourself some time to digest.

A&W, it has been awhile since we last spoken but the short time we spent together during high school is still vivid in my mind - those days when broken glasses weren't just an act of vandalism. Although it was just for a brief period you have helped opened my mind to many things and it was exactly a friend like you, whom I needed most back then. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and saving my life ;p

E, I've just seen you today and it's really frustrating because you only wanted to talk talk and talk and didn't want to listen to what I have to say. Because time was restricted I had to keep most of what I had in mind to myself. The next time we see each other remind me to bring a cellophane tape. Anyway, thanks a lot for being such a great company. Ponder not of the unnecessary people that make your life miserable. It is almost pointless to dwell on such matters as I see no clear road to which it will benefit you. Wish I could bid you farewell at the airport but guess you have a better company already ;P

To J,P,S,G,L,O&C, just so you know, life couldn't have been better without you people. Study hard and may god bless you all. Never doubt the existence of God and don't ask where he is. Just as when a doctor discovers a new medicine to cure an acute sickness, you don't ask where the doctor is; you just use the medicine. Thank you for all the happy times we spent together. Remember that the telephone lines work in both ways :)

These are some of my New Year resolutions for 2008:

1. Follow a strict healthy regime
2. Score at least 1 HD and go to Perth
3. Spend more time with M&D before departure
4. Make C my full time flirt
5. Prepare new RAD songs for boss before April
6. I'll stop here for now
7. Tell me yours

P/S: Maybe I should get a hobby. Then again, aren't hobbies for people with too much time?

P/P/S: Enjoy the song. Indeed, what do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping off the edge, never knowing if there's a solid ground below, or a hand to hold or hell to pay?

So peeps, even if you're not feelin' it
Cheers and Happy New Year!
Signing out with the old for now!

Random report

Hady Mirza has won the Asian Idol. Can you imagine? A mix faced bloke has been chosen by majority to represent Asian. I was astonished at the result at first but then it eventually seeped in. I guess as a loyal idol audient, I would have bet my fortune for Jaclyn Victor. After watching all of them performed, there is no doubt that Jaclyn really steps up to the title she won in 2004; truly spectacular if I may add. But what to do? The public has chosen and the board agreed to majority votes (not consensus, you see). Again we see a phenomenon which supports my theory – the handsome one always make it! Bahh. Why? Why? Why?

Mother’s birthday came last week. I bought a book for her – ‘The Mummy Diaries.’ I gave it to her just minutes pass twelve; nicely wrapped after checking three times to make sure I haven’t left any trace of the price tag behind (It was really just a cheap book for such an expensive relationship). Wrote, “生日快乐! 今天你最大, 请你make a wish 吧!” Instead of being interested in what I got her, she said, “I didn’t know you were capable of writing Chinese. Hmm. I’m going to bed. It’s late.”

Nonetheless I am happy I got her something. Though there is high possibility that she might not read it (all her books are written in Chinese), I bought it for her anyway. It is one of the moments when your head tells you to get her something more conventional and you just ignore it not because you couldn’t care less, but because you are hoping for her to read something you can share + understand (I get it, I’m on my way learning how to read Chinese ok!).

The neighborhood cats have officially gone berserk. I heard them screaming and scratching each other from my room and immediately went to check them out. Found them both on top of the tree branch (one poised, another dangling). I don’t know how long I can stand hearing their out-of-pitch screeching. Their tempestuous natures are driving me up the walls.

P/S: There are only two reasons why one is allowed to discharge from the hospital. One is when a patient has fully recovered and two, when a patient has lost all hope to recover. I’m afraid this time it is the latter which reigns.

What's left of me?

Hi there,went to do some charity yesterday and everything happened as planned though on the way back, SP was nearly drowned by the cat-and-dog rain. I could hardly see more than 1 meter ahead. However we managed to get home in one perfect piece after thriving against the powerful wind and relentless storm. Anyway, here are some pictures to share. Enjoy.

Grand entrance
The path that leads
Dining/Studying area for 70 orphans
Drying laundries
Close up sexy undies

A mini park they built themselves

Color blind lotuses
Guess who I found at the mini park

Whoa, salutations! Such a graceful host

Genuine smile from Mr. Handsome :)

Second destination
Speechless

SpEeChLeSs
Sleeping Buddha
At first glance he has only one leg but he actually has two.
Believe me.
And this boy can never stand.
This is permanent posture.

That's all I can show you for now. Sigh, suddenly looking good seems less important, eh.

P/S: Grandpa is hospitalized today.

Of christmas and cigarettes

It is a wonder how fast time flies. Have been a week since and looking back, the days spent weren’t very productive but I have bought myself three books to keep me company until semester begins in January. I keep them within visible region so I won’t forget that I actually own them. The last I check they were still at their initial position, waiting to be read. I should find time in a day or two – good books are irresistible possessions.

Interestingly so, I received my second Christmas present today. It is interesting, simply because I don’t personally devote myself to celebrating Christmas. Yet ‘tis the season to be jolly fah-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Happily accepted the gifts and decided to give some credits to the followers of Christ. As far as the spirit of giving is concerned, I am glad to have Christian friends.

Have just got back from a wedding dinner and seriously do smell like a cigarette myself. Darn bloody smokers. Don’t these people have a sense of morality - Simply puffing all the way in front of decent meals and formally clad guests? What were they thinking? I can’t accept the fact how ignorant they are towards the publics’ lungs. Are they not educated about the dangers of secondary smokers?

Right, what the hell do they care. They might as well just marry Langkawi and have access to duty free cigarettes if they like smoking so much.

P/S: Because 2009 is approaching, I would prepare a list of New Year resolutions as usual and check on the ones I had for the year before. You should too (More times than never it has been scientifically proven that a person will tend to behave more enthusiastically towards life when he has a direction and purpose.)

Until then,

To all long lost friends who are on the verge of becoming strangers,

See you all soon, anytime, soon

Disenchanted

Now I come to a difficult entry. How exactly do I feel about grandma’s departure? It’s been a month now, I have had plenty of time to think about it, but merely thinking about it may end up in tragedy. So I think I’ll reserve my judgment until everything is back to normal again.

Father woke up at 5.45am and wore his uniform ready to work today. Felt it very funny because it is Sunday, the day he never works. Maybe he has been trying too hard to finish his annual leaves before the New Year that he has forgotten which day he goes to work. Poor father.

There was a new joke craze sweeping at the studio yesterday. In my opinion, these so-called jokes are juvenile. I look with amazement as fellow ballerinas roll helplessly on the floor after relating to each other. Patricia even tripped over the paper basket and everyone laughed, but in fact it wasn’t very funny and I had to force myself guffaw with the rest of the gang. Among the jokes were:

1. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? Doug
2. What do you call a man without a shovel in his head? Douglas

Since finals (last week) until now, I haven’t been any productive than a hibernating polar bear. Thus I have decided to change my blog add to http://thepublicdiary.blogspot.com (Like that is going to change anything) effective from whenever you try to access this page and it says ‘unable to load, page not found, try again.’ This is the point where you should be disobedient and not try the same url again but instead try the above mentioned new add. I repeat, it will be changed to http://thepublicdiary.blogspot.com. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

P/S: G said my blog is too wordy. Apparently it makes him sleep. How he should have known such insensitive comments can bring tears to my eyes. The blog means a lot to me.

P/P/S: Correction--> Some bugger has taken that url that should me mine. So please kindly ignore the last paragraph.

A new leaf

On the day I last met her, I realized that like me, she was still struggling to untangle imaginary imperatives we faced. Her initial resolute pronouncement I sensed was tempered now by both memory and guilt. She was unsure as to what to do or what could be done. I understood her vacillation. I, above all, felt it too.

I regretted all the heartbreak and trouble that I caused. I often wondered if she was sorry she had met me or what she thought now when she remembered our happy times together. But I didn’t ask her those questions.

Our first furtive meetings and our innocent conspiracy, the plans we had made and the loyalty we had shown each other seemed to me now like something that happened to other people in another world I would only imagined.

Had it ever really happened to me or was it simply a passage in a novel I’d read?

In leaving her, I felt I might repay her for the embarrassment and suffering I’d caused her. She could start a new life and in time fulfill most of her dreams. Letting go of what was surely already lost, I too might find in time, peace in my decision; and I will not be beyond redemption.

On my final note to her I wrote:

I am a burden to you. I will be a burden to you until I go away. The past and all that had happened to us would always be ours. Guess we have to settle for that alone now. Goodbye. Take care of yourself. Have a good life.

That was the last time I ever saw her again. As I write this, I realize that I am changing at this time. I am becoming increasingly optimistic about my future. I sense new possibilities in my life and felt old fears simply evaporating. I behave like a child whose eyes had just opened and who was seeing the world for the first time. I experience a sense of wonder at new possibilities. It feels good to be living again.

And so my old life ended. And my new life begins.