A matter of trust

Just got back from a wedding dinner buffet and am still stupefied by the event. There were so many speeches made by the groom, the bride, the groom's father, the bride's father, the emcee, the mother in law here, the mother in law there.....haiseh. Anyway, this is the first time I attended a Singh's wedding. There were boisterous laughters and singing and dancing.....phew, just exactly like the ones we see in Hindustani films.

The bride spoke something about a happy marriage. She said, all things aside, a happy marriage begins when you marry the person you love. But with time, things will only work out when you love the person you marry. Hmm, I couldn't help but stopped eating half way through to repeat the phrase again and again in my head. I wonder if both have different meanings at all. They sound the same to me.

The phrase reminded me of another familiar phrase I came to read about, telling us that no matter what happens, we should not trust others. This phrase, also got me thinking, as it appears rather superficial to me. The more I think of it, the more I realise that in reality, this phrase hardly exists at all; because it is never really about not trusting others or holding back your trust about something or someone. More often the issue has always been more about how to not trust anything or anyone, but only yourself.

P/S: You should tell me, if you know how. Have a nice weekend.

The meeting

I had been sitting on the chair for ten minutes, I guess. The corner place that I had chosen was rather secluded, although not explicitly welcoming, the transparent floor to ceiling wall somehow led me to regard this resting place with subdued contempt. I resolve not to check my watch just yet, and returned to reading the novel. I was at page fifty one of three hundred forty, and decided to read the page again, since I had read it without absorbing a single word.

She had arrived just when I was about to take a second look at the time. I had reached early, simply because I did not want her to wait. Guess once in awhile, I like doing a little good by reaching early and have the luxury of appearing like I had waited in frustration for quite awhile. Sometimes I get a free drink, but in this case, I had a whole free meal.

She looked different since the last I had seen her. More arresting perhaps, older but still young and easy on the eyes. I had no time to think about or define the differences of the image I captured in my head about her but as she sat in front of me, the whole picture contained an attitude and atmosphere that would make anyone stop and look, if they could.

We had a long conversation. Occasionally I was partly embarrassed that she was interested enough to analyse my existence in many ways when she fired gentle questions about my past, many of which I felt no immediate obligations to provide answers to, although I was partly pleased.

I remember getting home pretty refreshed after the meeting. Walked through the living room, stopped with an abrupt turn and moved to the piano instead. Sat down on the leather stool and let my hands moved over the keys with a delicate touch to coax the full tone and nuance of each note. I played perhaps twenty minutes, a series of melancholy pieces that left me somehow indulged and depressed.

After that I sat back and recalled images of the meeting earlier. I gave my thoughts a close, detailed stare that now contains no emotion. I evaluated and remained absorbed for several minutes, until at last I stepped back with a small sigh, a sound that encompassed both satisfaction and contentment.

I have a dream

The word 'dream,' as defined means a vision of our hopes and desires which we purposefully retain in our minds to help direct our lives but which is not completely buried in reality. This definition gives dreams much more significance than one in which dreams are simply pictures we see in our sleep.

Walt Disney said, "A dream is a wish your heart makes." A conscious dream is a wish somewhere in between a fantasy and a goal. Such aspirations are not as imaginary and unattainable as fantasies, but they are loftier and more idealistic than practical goals. They are the wishes of our conscious mind and heart which make us reach higher and grow.

Now that you know, what is your dream?

Happy Birthday

To me. And the other hundreds of thousands of people who share my special day. Which was, I’ll admit, yesterday.

But the drinking and makan is tonight, so who cares?

Blow my candles.

Cheers!

P/S: Such a spoiler, I lost my watch yesterday! Dang :-(

It is not the thought that counts

Somebody once told me, "It is okay to just drop by to say Happy Birthday empty handed, because it is really the thought that matters most.”

The saying ‘It is the thought that matters,’ I think, must have came from the person who had forgotten to buy her gifts until the last minute of 9 o’clock Christmas Eve, or the first night of the wedding anniversary, or the eve of St. Patrick’s or just minutes before the twilight of a friend’s birthday.

So c’mon, if it is really the thought that counts, then why don’t we always tell people what we were thinking when we were scrambling to buy them their last minute panic gift – it was less than twenty dollars and I hardly would see them anyway.

Fact is, we don’t say these things because it is not the thought of the giver that counts. The thought that counts is the thought the getter is thinking after the wrapper has been torn away.

If we are really thoughtful, we would buy presents that they could in turn give away to other people when they see their names on the shopping list. They could unwrap a gift which is already a wrapped gift with their nephew’s name on the tag, ready to go. We just gave them less three hours to waste at the shopping mall, now THAT is thoughtful.

Frankly, it takes such a thought and creativity to decide what would make a good gift to someone.

You have to consider what the other person likes, what they have, what they care about, what they need. Basically, it is something you have to invest a lot of your time in, and since time is something none of us have anymore, we give them the ten years picture framed on our wall. It looks like a gift. It seems like a gift though they may not even use it after that.

C’mon tell me a date where you don’t put aside useless gifts?

Yet because we are all so good at acting, it is hard to tell when someone really likes or dislikes the gift we give them. So here is a quick checklist to consider when they receive your gift:-

1) They say, “I love it!!!” If they say I love it, you can be sure they hate it. Loving a photo frame, makes no sense. So clearly they are overcompensating for the feeling of guilt and shame about the deeper feeling of anger and resentment that they have about being given a photo frame for whatever occasion we give them. Or maybe they are just overwhelmed by the idea of getting such a personal utilitarian gift after ten years of friendship.

2) They say, “Thank you.” Thank you is such a loaded word, imperceptible and full of irony. However, special circumstances apply when they stop, sigh and stare deeply into your eyes before they say it. Then they are most probably an imposter.

3) They say, “Where did you get it??” Sometimes I think, why don’t you just say, “Does the store give refunds so I can return it and finally get something that I actually want?”

Of course, the best gifts of all gifts – are handmade gifts. Unreturnable, Unusable, unsightly, unfun. These are of course, some of the words you can use to describe handmade gifts, unless you are related to a talented furniture maker, clothing designer or Van Gogh.

My point is, when considering giving a gift to someone else, please consider, “Is this the gift that I would like to get?”

There you have it, I have stated down my point, enough said.

With all these in mind, get out there and let the people you care about most know exactly how much you are thinking about them by giving them fun, useful and exciting gifts. Then, after shopping for two hours and you realize you don’t know what their interests are, give up and go to the sections where products sold are exchangeable.