What women want

If you choke while reading what I am going to write about, you have totally overrated/underrated me.

All this while, I have been watching the reality show What Women Want hosted by the sexy Hannah T (Hold that choke, please). Because last week was the crucial finale, I couldn’t help myself from hiding the remote control so everybody can watch 8tv and 8tv alone.

For any of you out there who might have been abroad this time, say New Zealand maybe, you have totally missed seeing one of the best finales a reality show can offer. And I am saying this because I know you didn’t watch any part of it. Nevertheless, I am glad to announce to you that the winner was the one and only Hafiz and not Frenchie. It was boringly obvious that Hafiz was going to win. No offence Frenchie, but all you wanted to impress was the mystery girl you couldn’t have and you had failed miserably in the last task.

The smile Hafiz had was authentically warm during the final task. Somehow throughout the whole show, I felt Frenchie must have derived a certain security from thinking that Hafiz wasn’t going to win. Mind you, I nearly gave myself away laughing out loud when Hafiz won in spite of all the judgments made upon him; until the irony of the situation finally hit me.

There Frenchie was, thinking he had won yet again, and that Hafiz had lost, when in fact, Hafiz always had control over the task that was given to him. Apart from having to lose at speed and craft, Hafiz could have ruined his opponent’s soccer career at any stage, simply by scoring a crucial goal, for instance, in a vital match like this.

Retracing back my alma mater days, I was equally a fool in competitions. But at least I found out something about myself; I learnt that my greatest fear was not about losing the battle. In fact, the thing I was frighten of most was letting down the warrior in me.

There is a straight line between them right?

I understand at this point, that I had to begin working WITH the fear, not against it, as most people do with theirs. Unfortunately I will only let you know how, when I find out myself.

Or have you?

Many people told me I had to be optimistic, be it before or after the battle. But optimism is only a kind of self consolation. If one is unable to protect oneself against the world, the only way out is rejection. Emotional state and mood, I believe, must always adjust to the outside world. You may have to pay a devastating price in the bargain of losing someone you love and lost, or love but never had; nonetheless in the end, what is more important, is to not let your despair in human relationships take away the magic of your soul.

In future, before you start thinking about winning, you ought to know how much you are willing to lose. Making sacrifices and forgo your next best option, is the first step to take when you decide to win a battle.

Maybe the only step, I don’t know.

I just feel that when god meets you with challenges and obstacles, so many that sometimes you feel life is not worth living and you want to give up, he has something great in stored for you after that.

After you are wounded with castigation, marred with brutal exorcism, scarred with a tiger’s claw and may have to use a bedpan maybe…but nevertheless, there will always be something great waiting for you at the other end of the road.

After all, what’s a warrior without scars?