where the world is perfect but i am not

Monday, March 31, 2008

You're reading me

It has been quite long since I first started this blog. Well not very long if my lifespan is until 60. Nonetheless I am happy the way it has turned out to be. You know how I always have a history of doing something with temporary enthusiasm. Apparently this blog is still kicking since I had first written. So not bad I would think.

Looking back at some point, there were times when I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning and hurry to the library where the words would just come by and I would tell my story. This blog somehow gave structure and a purpose to my day. This place….I’ve figured, is actually me.

In this world that I don’t always understand, I do know that it is inevitable for us to being rejected at some point in life. All we have to do is to accept rejection with grace. And when the timing is right, reject acceptance appropriately.

For so long I’d been unable to reach out to find someone whom I can speak my thoughts to. Not that they are not there, but guess I’m just too aware and afraid of the rejection or pity or scorn, whenever I tell them how I actually feel about things.

But here I am, being anonymous, safe. The connection and relationship I have with this place, is priceless. It somehow brings me back to life again.

It is always nice to know there will be people out there who might be reading this.

Seriously, if I knew I was going to die, I would want a living funeral for this blog. A morbid thought indeed, but a thought nonetheless.

P/S: Something is not right. I seem to be thinking about the marriage wedding more than I thought I would.

P/S/S: Been watching a lot of Ellen lately and found out Oprah actually helped her out during her worst times. But she is a true example of how a person is being slapped down so hard to the ground and pulled herself up again and moved on. Guess that’s what life is all about. In the end its not how fast or how slow you run, it's how far you can actually stand running.

8 Comments:

Blogger Alyssa Ng said...

this post of yours is truly personal and reflected you. i can really feel the expression you are trying to give and it is really enlightening. at one point, i don't understand why you are interested in Ellen Degeneres but from this post, i knew that she brings inspiration and motivation to you.

stay happy! =D

5:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must know this Ellen Degeneres

6:01 PM  
Blogger [ - eVe - ] said...

hey...how's life? u know, i really love reading ur blog. well, though i nv really drop many comments, ur posts are really great. can feel the some sort of inner feelings..and i gotta say, most of ur writings are interesting. =) so keep writing. =)it's indeed a good place to express oneself in blog.

9:59 PM  
Blogger 毓涵 said...

ally: i don't know why i'm so drawn to ellen either.but she inspires me really.at a glance she is just another funny talk show host but in reality shes more than that.if you follow the path of her life, you will know that shes really a person worthy of praises.i give her standing ovation everytime i see her :)
enlightening eh? lol. thats a compliment i suppose. i'm not quite enlightened myself. maybe i should publish a blook someday :) will you buy?

jobie: yes. shes one person i will grow up and inspire to be.

eve: hi lifes good. thanks for dropping by esp in this post. i woke up the next day thinking i should really delete it, i would have if not for someone already dropped a comment on it. yea, no doubt, i don't think i will ever stop writing. ever. it gives be life, this writing thing really.

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know that your blog has been around for a long time, but it is my first time reading it and i must say, it is very intriguing and insightful... i like the sense of connection i get when i read your posts and am really happy you are who you are today...
well, we were friends in the golden ages and lost touch... despite the differences, i am amazed by the similarities we share and wonder how different things would have been if we hadn't lost touch... whatever it is, life is mysterious and i like it that way... i am really amazed and respect the person you are today and i hope u see yourself the way i do... explore the possibilities, girl!

12:14 PM  
Blogger 毓涵 said...

friend-from-the-golden-ages:

somehow i feel like i know you but then again i can't say exactly if i am right. you could hv signed off with a name but you didnt. maybe i am not suppose to know who you are. but through all of history there is only one and only one person whom i connected and disconnected in a way. i regret the lost of touch because it could still hv been the way it was, if only one of us hadnt given up. the way you write, i figured i could decipher who it is, but c'mon, confirm it for me pls :)

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am pretty sure that i am not the person you think i am... We barely even knew each other that well when we went our separate ways cuz we were just in primary school then. I wonder if you know i am by now... Honestly, it truly doesn't matter at the end of the day.

7:10 AM  
Blogger 毓涵 said...

oh...then i seriously got the wrong person. sorry. my brain is blocked by many things esp with memories of the recent past years.it may not matter if i don't know who you are but guess i hv a glimpse of your shadow now. cheers. (you can just sign off with a name really)

5:09 PM  

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