Coda of 2006

Now that we are heading for the very last month of 2006, I can’t help to look back once in a while, just to ponder at what could have been and what have become so far. Tracing back, the path that I walked was not a road filled with great memories. Nor was it fairly bad. If compared to those fugitives living with missiles flying over their heads, I am still fortunate to be living in such a peaceful country.

My days are equally as good. Nothing grand, but I have not much to complain either. Except for the expensive college fees and the degrading taste of wan tan noodles. Nonetheless, everything else remains and everyone I know is living well. There is nothing more that I could ask for – except for some cash.

Despite the fact that I have lived in three houses this year, and went to college from nine to five, I have yet to find a single soul whom I can understand much of. More often than never, I find myself quietly admiring the students I see in college, and then frantically whack my head on the nearest wall when I realize myself getting overloaded with exaggerated admiration. But those Koreans are really cute.

Unlike schooling days, college life translates freedom in every other way. Punks can upload their chains, feminists can download their tight/short/pink/bare outfits and tomboys can reload their gel/moose/spray at any time of day to dominate the compliance of their green/blue/read/purple hair. It is really the perfect epitome of style. Besides that favorable fact, my shallow understanding only shows how ignorant I am in the world of fashion, and how far I am from the world of class.

Sigh. 2006 have been a whole year of waiting. It feels like I can now graduate with masters in waiting. From the beginning of the year I waited for my results, then I waited for my applications, then I waited for my friends, then I waited for something to happen, then I waited to get over things, then I waited to get ahead of them. Not only do big issues like waiting for acceptance from college affects me but also small issues like waiting for my salad dressing at the cafeteria. Sometimes I wish I could do everything myself, so I don’t have to be dependant on other people, especially when time management is never their virtue.

Throughout the year there were many things in life I thought of. Though the year is ending, problems in life never seem to end. One minute you are relieved to see the hibiscus blooming, the next minute you crack your head to save the dying rose. But then again, what good is a predictable life? It is the uncertainties and insecurities that make us want to let go and hold on to life so dearly. Life with responsibilities is better lived than without. Don’t you agree? At least with it one march forward; and at the end of day he would realize that his own fragile life is not for him alone, but also for those around him.

At this end of 2006, though there is much peace in Heaven, noises from earth could already be heard. I thought maybe I should talk less and think more next year. It is a new resolution for never had I ever thought of having to talk less. But it is not bad I guess. Besides, adults tend to prefer silent companions. Maybe I could adore them silently with my new resolution.

What about you?