where the world is perfect but i am not

Monday, October 13, 2008

Mirror on the wall

Have really been occupied with things over here, what not with the ballet school examinations and orchestral performance practices, and of course my own studies to cope up with. Explains the late entry.

However I am very much looking forward to return home this coming December, with no particular reasons whatsoever, maybe I miss my bed, maybe I miss my friends, but home also means having access to delicious food, so maybe I miss the food. Penang is no doubt the best place where food is concerned.

Although my days are literally flying by, I am not expecting them to slow down. One thing to note, I am not particularly happy living here. Heck with the phrase which says happiness is a state of mind. I sat almost unmoved for an hour at the living room, after waking up today. Suddenly feel like I need a breather, after reading an early sms I received, so I sat there and started to think.

I do not know how my life is going to turn out at this far end, do not know where I am heading and do not know why I am feeling this way today. Pathetic, you may think.

I am moved, lately, saddened by many things that are beyond my control. Having to receive news about good friends admitted to hospitals, parents unable to cope with critical illness and another soul mate who is so busy with schedules that has no time to talk to me for two weeks now. Sometimes I wonder if a simple sms or message is too much to ask for.

Apart from all these external issues, I am just going through my own life with the least emotion as I can. Just the other day, I was probably too exhausted and vomited, my lunch at night time and realised how I have not really been eating very well for the past few days. However, these are not something for you to worry about anyway. There are more important things in life to worry about, and I am sure you already have enough things for your own worry.

Until the next entry, cheers and all the best.

6 Comments:

Blogger shsysh said...

Hello you.

What you're feeling now is very similar to what I felt in the first few months aboard. I'm not saying I went through everything that you're going through but I pretty much understand.
You'll find the coming months more bearable and exciting. I think you will one day come to justifying living abroad as the best days of your life. We can adapt to changes better than what we give ourselves credit for. In the meantime, keep holding on ;)

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

take care Nes :)

6:05 PM  
Blogger private TS said...

Not happy living there?

Post some pictures of you and ur new friends from ur Uni le... wanna see got leng lui mou?

7:40 PM  
Blogger [ - eVe - ] said...

hey fren,
do not be discouraged.

everyone has their own paths of life they have to walk through. but remember, u r not walking ur path alone. on and off, we wil appear. keke.

u may stumble and fall along the way through the deep forest, but do remember that when u reach the other side,
u ll be screaming yes! ive made it ! =)

life may be tough being abroad, but not all will hav the opportunity like u do, to go abroad. the furthest ive reached so far is only kuala lumpur. haha. it's stil in malaysia.. how sad.

so, fren, cheer up ya !

believe me, we felt the same way too abt wats happening lately. sad news just come into my mailbox more than good ones. i guess this is just life's wats all abt.

3:33 PM  
Blogger 毓涵 said...

shark: can't wait to go home, although I have a feeling I will want to come back here after my next trip.

jobie: you too.

private ts: Don't have any photoes with them unfortunately. Takes awhile. Not very close to angmoh though.

eve: Cheered up for now ;-) take care.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ur parents ill?

8:36 AM  

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