where the world is perfect but i am not

Friday, November 16, 2007

Gone to stay

Dearest Gma,

I have thought things over and have come to tell you to let things go and rest in peace.

Hopefully you have been receiving all those prayers that we have been sending you for the past five days. I had always imagined you to be larger than life, but that image shattered when you broke down and all organs failed you last weekend. All this while I’ve never regretted being close to you, although I have friends whose grandma writes poems while you can’t write an alphabet.

I could go on with a list of things that you cannot do and make a mockery of our relationship; because I find that it’s a sure way of stopping the tears. But heck, it has to stop somewhere.

Thank you for the precious memories. Now that you have gone to stay, I just want to let you know that you will always have an irreplaceable space in my heart. I am sorry I never said that when you were alive.

Its funny how many people I hardly knew came by to help with the processions the past five days. This is already a lesson for me to be nicer to strangers in the near future. Although sometimes I believe I’m often more polite to strangers than friends.

I take comfort knowing that you are in a better place and don’t worry; I will take care of myself good. But for now, I just don’t know how to exist in a world you don’t.


Until then,
I will see you when I see you.


That empty space is mine


People


More people


Grandma



R.I.P. (1931-2007)

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your grandmother...take care & God Bless!

2:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey...sorry to hear abt ur grandma.may she rest in peace.u take care,k.

amy

5:30 PM  
Blogger suYin said...

hey so sry to hear about this. don't wry about her k? she'll be fine, and u must also be fine. god loves her!

saddhu!x3
~my prayers from hundreds of kms away~

12:03 AM  
Blogger j0bie said...

Nes
Sorry to hear abt ur granny
May her soul rest in peace.

8:50 AM  
Blogger 毓涵 said...

THANK YOU all of you.

NAMO AMITABHA!

10:57 AM  
Blogger Genova said...

namo amitabha...
may her rest in peace

3:30 AM  
Blogger mary-jane said...

been awhile since i last visited your blog, im shocked to know this. now i kinda have flashback about last time when i always hang out at your house. actually my grandma has just passed away too last month. which crematory is she at now? i see the place in the pic looks like berapit.

3:26 PM  
Blogger 毓涵 said...

Yes its in berapit.sorry about your grandma too. i havent seen you blogging in awhile, so i thought sthing must have happened.

Anyway, granma was not in pain before leaving. At least thats a consolation. She was at my home for one week and another 5 days at the hospital. after 2 days dicharged, she passed on.

Wheres your granma at? Mine at 577. Granpa just beside, 578.

Anyway, thanks for dropping by. Its been awhile. Cheers and all the best for everything!!

5:34 PM  
Blogger 毓涵 said...

Yes its in berapit.sorry about your grandma too. i havent seen you blogging in awhile, so i thought sthing must have happened.

Anyway, granma was not in pain before leaving. At least thats a consolation. She was at my home for one week and another 5 days at the hospital. after 2 days dicharged, she passed on.

Wheres your granma at? Mine at 577. Granpa just beside, 578.

Anyway, thanks for dropping by. Its been awhile. Cheers and all the best for everything!!

5:39 PM  
Blogger mary-jane said...

your grandma, was it because of sickness? i wasnt that lucky, i didnt get to see her for the last time .. kinda hate myself for that. my grandma is BB1306, BB1305 is my grandpa and BB1307 is my dad. this year chengmeng maybe i could go and 'pai' your grandma for awhile. i actually hate to go there

9:59 PM  
Blogger 毓涵 said...

No sickness. just old age. Organs suddenly slowed down until a certain stage where she couldnt even lift her legs or hands, whatmore to sit or walk. But its good that she waited for everyone to come back, cousins and aunts rushed back fr johor n melacca on sunday. She passed on monday morning, 5.45am.

At that time she was too weak to talk but while we were busy praying and reciting prayers my mum and others did see her keep moving her hands showing 5,4,5 again and again. If only we knew what she wanted to say at that time.

My uncle dreamt about her funeral 3 times before she passed on. I don't know if u believe in such things but now i do. There were just so many indications and signals that we couldnt afford to just ignore, so we did prepare for the worst. Said prayers so many many times, told her not to worry that everything is fine and we are all grown up enough to do whats best for her and ourselves.

If u checked, her number came up on monday. 5577 second price :) so far havent dreamt of her yet am glad, have a feeling shes at someplace good.

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi agnes...
sory to hear bout ur grandma.
take care...
sorry, just able to online n check ur blog....
ill cya soon. =)
god bless.......

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

didnt know, sorry =)

1:35 AM  

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